Dirty dogg diaries
O my gooooooooodness *Shenene’s voice*… My friend just busted her new boo thang! … She finally decided to snoop around his IG (Instagram), Facebook and Twitter account… Turns out this mu’fawker is still smashing his bebe mama’s cakes to smithereens! We are so distraught. Well not entirely because she hadn’t given up the cookie monster #ThankYouStevHarvey #3MonthRule. But yeah, seems little man has been busy with the double life!
She has been seeing this guy for like 4 months. Everything has been cool thus far right? Until yesterday she jumped into this Tony Gaskin link she sent me:
I think she may have spent the rest of the afternoon engrossed in all these Tony episodes/video clips on YouTube because next thing baby girl is Sherlock Holmes. Clearly Tony reached deep down in her feminine gut. I must say I’m pretty peeved off and disappointed that it had to take some brown eye-d self-help, life coach brother to trigger her snooping prowess. This is some shit I could have told her. She then decides to go through his social media. FOUR MONTHS LATER!!! My girl was just asking for trouble in the first place.
Ladies listen up! When you meet a guy, after you say “hi” and give him your number (because clearly this is a sign of interest), get on that damn World Wide Web and GOOGLE his damn behind!! That’s what it’s there for… I’m talking Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook; check his Whatapp profile picture and status, Linkden…. Why on earth would you just take what he says at face value? Brothers are tricking us every blessed day of the week! Ya’ll are plain thirsty and too trusting! That’s what’s wrong… And if he is on neither, run! Run like Forrest Gump on steroids. Clearly he can’t be trusted and has something to hide or he is a psychotic hermit with a dull life because that would explain why he is not even on one social media. Run sweetie.
Anyways my friend’s boyfriend said to her, the baby isn’t his and him and this bird were on and off for the longest time but they have been broken up for a while now… (Ding, ding… LIAR! IG pics of them both from Dec vacation. SMH)….She is now a nervous wreck because today they are meeting to have “the talk”. And it doesn’t help that this chicken head looks like my friend…….. O_o
Honestly truth of the matter is don’t let the thirst fool you. In order to have peace in your heart and balance in your soul, STALK-A-NIGGA. That’s right. I’m about that life & more. I’m that woman that snoops EVERYWHERE. My snooping skills are on a hundred. Anybody who comes in my life quickly realizes this. Because I will pry in your phone, your social networks, you bank accounts, your momma’s bank account, what kinda breed you family pet is, your blood type… ALLES! I don’t like things to miss me and sure don’t like nasty surprises, like illegimate kids mushrooming out of nowhere. Nuuuuu-uuuuh… Not me ma’am. If it’s out there I will find it and bring it home.
I’m now patiently waiting to hear feedback from this talk, and hear how he will worm his way outta this one. … Like my man Jay said “It’s a hard knock life!!”